delusional thinking

   Too many people walk around thinking they're going to be something they're not. I've known adult men that planned on becoming astronauts. They had no training or qualifications whatsoever, yet, something deep down told them they were going to be astronauts. No, you're not. Too many kids think they're great soccer players without the practice. We've all been around those teams where kids start thinking they're better than they actually are. 
   One of the worst players will say, “Um, coach, am I gonna play today?” Son, you run a 9.8 forty, you barely complete ten sit ups, you can’t even do half a pull up, and before I realized you can’t do half a pull up you didn’t even know what a pull up was – you’ve been to a third of the practices, and when you do practice you wear baseball shoes, I suspect you have a smoking habit, your mom pulls into the parking lot, honks, tosses a bottle of beer out the window, tells me I’m a worthless sunovabitch and, yet, we’ve never formally introduced ourselves so the answer is: no, you’re not gonna play today. There are seventeen other players and you’re the eighteenth on the list to go in. If it were up to me I’d pull in six other players ahead of you, making you the 24th on the list to go in; that’s two full teams of players to go in before you. Even then, you’re going to pay three hundred bucks for the season to shag balls in practice and build character sitting on the bench as far away from me as possible as the last conceivable player to sub in. You’re so bad I could put the fetus of Gary Coleman out there and he’d do a better job. You need to pick another sport, son. You just need to pick another sport. Or, better yet, concentrate on the woods and metals department at the high school. That’s probably your best bet.