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signs of this world cup's team regressing to the dark ages

7/3/2014

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   Practices prior to the tournament intensified, as players tried their hardest. As a result, the coach said, "We will not win this World Cup. There is no chance in hell we're gonna win this thing." 
   Our thug player, the guy who's job it is to intimidate other teams, ran into the referee. Then he ran into his own teammate, breaking his own nose. 
   Our best known player was kept off the team, in part, for traveling to Cambodia in an attempt to "find himself" by adorning a bandana while whacking his leg against random stalks of bamboo alah Jean Claude Vandamme. 
   The team and media held meetings in a smoky room with drawn curtains, insisting the group be called the illustrious "Group of Death" which included Germany ("Group of Death" CEO), Portugal ("Group of Death" wannabe), Ghana ("Group of Death's" friend of a friend that knows a guy) and the United States ("Group of Death's" pesky Secretary of the Treasury that insists on working pro bono in exchange for positive re-encouragement). Meanwhile, the real "Group of Death" consisted of Italy ("Group of Death" Fraternity President), England ("Group of Death" elder statesmen away on holiday with a drinking problem), Uruguay ("Group of Death" record's keeper, who initiates players with biting exercises and a Richard Ramirez look-alike contest ((Cavanni; it's uncanny and unsettling))) and Costa Rica (the guy claiming to know the door man at the Group of Death's hotel on a referral from someone in the U.S. - they go way back, something to do with "banana trading"). 
   Before the match with Belgium we got mad at the referee for being bi-lingual. "How dare you speak the other team's language!" 
   Excessive complaining about the extensive traveling, insisting FIFA has it in for the U.S., the team least likely to win. Because, after all, the extensive traveling was by way of Greyhound Buses, sitting coach next to Brazilian guys selling homemade bars of soap out of a backpack. 
   We made sure that our opponents' had ninety percent of the possession. It's a tactical thing. 
   Following the exit of the United States from Brazil 14' the coach says, "Yeah, I guess we could'a won the whole thing." 
1 Comment
K
7/14/2014 01:16:26 pm

:) FUNNY

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