SHANE STAY
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About the Author
  • Where to Buy
  • Press

tire time (ns)

10/15/2014

7 Comments

 
Rated PG-13. 
Picture of wounded ankle.  
Picture
Picture

Outside right ankle. The "upper dorsumas" area.
My foot resting on a dilapidated shoe.
Tire marks still visible on ankle. Bad tire. 


What do you do when you’re run over by a car’s tire? Hope they roll off, for starters. It’s as though Orlando Pace and Nate Newton decided to tackle you on one part of your body. You quickly review what just happened. “Sitting in parking lot, waiting for car to leave. Another car backs into me from behind. Woman in car acts weird. Then she flees the scene. I try to get her plate number and stop her. Car still rolling. I slip. Car runs over my ankle. Red shoes, scuffed. New Khakis, not new anymore. Coffee, not drunken yet. Esteban! Esteban!!!”

CUT TO:
Doctor's Office, Lobby 

Receptionist
So she ran into your car and fled the scene?

Me
Fled the scene.

Receptionist
So she ran over your foot?

Me
Yes.

Receptionist 
What did the police and insurance say? 

Me
They explained that as a responsible adult I should have let the driver damage my car and flee the scene. According to them I was wrong for trying to get her license plate number in an area without a cross walk. According to them "this is the world we live in today." 

Receptionist
They wanted you to just take it? 

Me
Just take it. 

Receptionist
Ran over your foot?

Me
Ran it over. Then reversed off of it, technically. At this point I didn’t know. I was lying down. I told myself "just go with it; be one with the tire; don't fight the tire." There was a car sitting on my ankle. I think it’s the upper dorsamus.

Receptionist
I’m pretty sure it’s not that.

Me
Sure.

Receptionist
And you just bought those Khakis yesterday?

Me
On sale.

CUT TO: 
Doctor’s Room

Doctor
So you got run over by a car?

Me
Cee.

Doctor
Looks like they ruined your red shoe.

Me
Cee.

Doctor
Did you get their insurance?

Me
Cee.

Doctor
What are you going to do?

Me
Sue.

(Thanks Jack Benny.)

Say what you will, had Tom Cruise been there, the Scientologist, he would have taken control, immediately, for the good of us all. He would have followed these steps:

First, separate the parties.

Second, acquire data.

Third, process data.

Fourth, subdue the situation.

Fifth, speak to the parties involved, taking notes, remaining calm.

Sixth, make certain no one is on any prescribed medication. (If so, offer a natural alternative.)

CUT TO:
Police officer arrives on scene

Officer
(to Cruise)
Get oughta here! That’s my job you freak.

CUT TO:
My Apartment

“No more soccer. No more badminton. No more basketball. Confined to quarters for undetermined amount of time. Pain pills not powerful enough. Forced to listen to The Cure on Pandora. Upper dorsamus in great pain. Watching Charlie Rose re-runs. Esteban! Esteban!!!”


Picture
Pictures of Fabio always ease the pain. 
7 Comments
Tom
10/15/2014 10:34:07 am

Fabio!

Reply
rachel
10/21/2014 07:01:53 am

fabio always makes it better!

Reply
rick
10/27/2014 06:05:11 am

wooo

Reply
amanda
11/11/2014 08:01:22 am

!

Reply
brenda
12/16/2014 06:13:35 am

time for hospital visits

Reply
Micheal E.
3/9/2015 06:59:50 am

Ouch

Reply
PAUL
5/31/2015 04:37:07 pm

NICE

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Shane stay +   
    ​(archives)     

    December 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    April 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    October 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014

    Author

    Shane Stay, author of This Is Our CITY, THE World Cup 2022 Book, THE World Cup 2018 Book.

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

    All Written Work Copyright   © 2014-2025 Shane Stay 
    KEY
    (NS) refers to "Non-Soccer" related blog entries, stories and essays, which may or may not appear. If you've read this far, you're probably not a robot. 

    CONTACT
    See PRESS Page
    .

Proudly powered by Weebly